My roommate's name is spelled J-O-N-A-T-H-A-N. He can't be Jonathon Woods. He got a big kiss from someone the last day he went to Centennial. He is black.

Wow, your roommate is Jonathon Woods? He's lactose intolerant!

Go eat some grass and wear a horseshoe.

That guy with the same last name as you would make a much better Sunil than you too. First of all, he has a sweet mustache, secondly, he has a milky yet tough complexion, and lastly, he can not possibly be as shitty as you. Stop evesdropping on stupid peoples conversations and start using your Sunil-Brain to do complex differential equations. Jonathan could not have put it better. "Shut up Sunil!"
Anyway, I'm just bitter because Sunil has the melonin I ask Santa Claus for every Christmas. By the way, your ass hair really is not as bomb as you think, and I forgive you for your cynicism.