May 2004

question.

Is it better to know something that will hinder your happiness or is it better to just be happy?

I saw and hung out with Braden for a long time. I really missed him. When I asked him this question, he said "man, that sounds pretty profound." I guess it kinda is, even though I didn't realize how much I ask myself this question.

I always used to answer the latter option. That's what always made me Sunil.

I decided to find out about how often people are actually entertained by me, because I know that I can be very irritating. I figure Darren was the best person to ask, because he's really irritating too, but he also has a dumb sense of humor like me. Here are the results:

reveille7A (11:11:52 PM): about how often, honestly, do you find me funny?
xDexter345x (11:13:29 PM): 45% of the time?
reveille7A (11:13:35 PM): about how often, honestly, do you find me an idiot?
xDexter345x (11:13:54 PM): 95% of the time?
reveille7A (11:14:00 PM): about how often honestly, do you find me annoying?
xDexter345x (11:14:06 PM): 13%.

Two years ago, my brother was pissed off and took me on a random, one-day road trip to San Diego. On the way there, we heard the song Running Away by Hoobastank.

*radio starts playing the beginning of the song*
"It's weird how music makes you think about things, Sunil."
"Yeah, I know that dude. Why do you think I like music so much?"
"Like, you never could understand what a lyricist is saying until what he's talking about happens to you."
"Yeah."
*the lines "i don't want you to feel sorry for me..." start becoming apparent*
"Seriously Sunil, you'll never understand this song until you have someone run away from you."
"Right..."

I'm listening to how dumb it is to have these post-entries.
I'm feeling like I'm not going to do these anymore.
I'm constantly saying that I'll still have a word of the day.

and another school year is over.

I used to defend that Sophomore year of high school was the most eventful year in my life, but this year dwarfs it. If I really wanted to do a 100 event countdown, it'd probably be pretty cool for me to read, but not everyone else. School ended on Wednesday for me, but I don't think the year officially ended until Friday when I came back up to Phoenix. It's been a year; it's really been a year. And here are the main people that stand out:

from college, boston...

Michael Delatizky: You're defintely the last person that I met in Boston that I started hanging out with, but you turned out to be my best friend out there. We definitely shared some good times, and you made me feel like Boston is my home. showerwalls4life, man.

Ashwin Acharya: You're dumb, but still a cool roommate. I enjoyed living in 1515A and constantly annoying the crap out of you. Still though, you put up with my dumb crap so well, and that's awesome, I think.

Mark Feeney: I think you're the first person that I really befriended in Boston, and even though you're sorta soft-spoken, you're damn fun to be around. Me, you, Mike, and Ashwin made an awesome group, and we'll all be sure to hang around together again in the future.

Dana Truhe & Amanda Weingarten: I'm only putting you two together because I met you guys together and hung out with you guys together. It's so sad that we didn't really hang out until the last weekend I was there. Remember when I told you guys to make fun of New Jersey in my room and then I told you that my roommate is from New Jersey? Classic. Seriously. Play word games forever.

and from tucson...

Peter Berkes: I should hate you. Maybe you don't know why I should hate you, but I really should. The truth is, you're a pretty damn cool kid, and even though I've never hung out with you like other than for an hour or two, it's been real. You may never know what you've done, and maybe it's better that way. Whatever the case, the road trip is going to hit Rochester and we're going to own some Canadian casinos.

Jonathan Ghiz: I never got to say goodbye to you yesterday and that wasn't cool. Room 109 just plain kicked ass. It was the party room in our hall. Anything awesome originated from there, and everyone knew it. We're gonna handle O-Chem next year, and keep all the stupidity and smart ass comments alive.

Jessica Maxwell: You really wanted my screen name just to check up on Jon, didn't you? I'm glad you handled my continual smart ass comments all the time, and never really got mad at me.

Matthew Estrada: You remembered me from the first time I came to Yavapai with Nikki to get cookies. And you thought I looked like Antonio Banderas. Your story about that one girl was probably the most ironic thing ever. It's almost sad that my story started taking shape of your story. Thanks for helping me out... much appreciated.

Andrew Lindauer: You pretty much lived in 109 this semester and our smart ass comments drove Jon and Jessie insane. Sometimes I wish that I was living in Star Pass next semester with you guys because it would be one hell of a semester. Indiana in the summer, baby.

Brandon Palmer: It's been a hell of a ride that only lasted about four weeks. I can't believe that I met you so late in the semester but we became like best friends. I shall never forget hiking "A" Mountain for absolutely no reason instead of writing my English paper. This summer and the road trip look promising even though we have separate, different problems to deal with.

and for the high school chums...

Christopher Spencer: I'm keeping this short. You know that we've stayed good friends even though I've been gone so long. I'm gonna miss you when you go off to England next year. It's really going to suck.

Michael Anderson: The same pretty much applies here, dude. You such a goofy person. Who's gonna help my parents put things in high places next year?

Rhonda Tubbs: We didn't talk for the longest time after school ended and then I randomly saw you at the block party when the semester started at the U of A. Thanks for helping me out with everything... we better hang out this summer.

Eamon Quick: I deserted you and the East Coast, man. It's pretty sad. I can't wait until you come back and we watch dumb late night TV and do all the dumb stuff we used to do.

Braden Bennett: You'll never know how much I miss hanging out with you in your dorm room or doing whatever we did. You're a symbol to whatever I used to have.

Darren Nakamura: Oh Darren. We live such similar lives. Maybe when I come out to Antelope Valley, I can discuss with you what I mean. I really do miss annoying the living crap out of you and such, and as well, just hanging out and playing video games or whatever we did.

Nick Petrusek: The first semester we stayed close. The second semester, I don't know what happened. I really, really miss you and your brother's dumb antics at my house all the freakin' time. I can't believe that you're going away to San Diego, 'cause that means this summer won't even be nearly as cool as last summer. I guess it never was destined to be.

AJ Belshe: It seems as if college has drifted us very far apart. Hopefully some day we'll hang out again like we used to and chill, because I really do miss it. Have fun on your Europe trip and the year in England. I'm going to miss you, buddy.

and others...

Jogi: You're my brother, you idiot. Stop reading my site. Do your work when you're at work. That's why it's called work.

Nikki Naff: It's really been a year, hasn't it? I don't know what to say right now, and I'm sure you understand. I miss you, Nikki... I really do.

...don't let it go away...

New. So new.

I'm listening to No Doubt - New
I'm feeling lost for words
I'm constant saying nothing. I'm lost for words.

hmm.

And there upon the rainbow is the answer to our neverending story.

I want to see that movie now. Right now.

No one but Darren caught on to the last entry, which I guess was intended. I think it's pretty interesting how I'm about to enter Sophomore year again after what happened last time I was a Sophomore. I guarantee my friends and I won't screw up the school this year, even though that would be fun.

The semester ends in a few days and I don't know if I'm entirely ready to leave. I hate doing school work at the moment, but I don't know if I want to leave the dorm just yet. There's something keeping me back now, and really, I'm pretty lost as to where it's going.

Dead skin will atrophy itself to start again.

Regardless, I can't wait for summer. I enjoy being able to be as lazy as possible. This summer looks to be fairly interesting with the road trip and all, and I really don't know what else could come in and market fun for me. Whatever the case, I'm ready to sit around my house and play cards and strategy games with people and enjoy the fact that my mother ordered us pizza and bought us Krispy Kremes. Oh, the days.

I seriously need to start updating my autobiography. It's times like these that I realize that I don't want to forget things. I'm going to write a bit in it this year. Maybe I'll get far, but I bet I'll write like two or three chapters and stop. At least that's better than none, I guess.

Here are a few Andy-isms, straight from the midwest:

"What the fuck's a Mervyn's?"
"What the fuck does less than three mean?"

Stupid midwestern people.

Can you still feel the butterflies? (64:06)

I'm listening to The Neverending Story Theme Song
I'm feeling content
I'm constantly saying WOW

i remember.

Sitting in the back-center of math class was a good change from sitting in the front corner. I now sit in a little group of four people. I really don't know two of the three that well, but the other one I've known for a while, and previously, he didn't like me that much. But at least now he did.

I took a look at the ID of the kid who sat in front of me and noticed that he lived sorta near me. I've never really met anyone here that lived near me, so that's obviously pretty cool. And he seems like a cool kid too despite the fact that I used to think that he was a lame ass.

My math teacher has the weirdest moustache and frankly, it bothers me. At least it provides me with a great deal of jokes to make. So far, I've liked him, and he's a pretty witty individual (he reminds me of teachers past).

*

I've found it pretty convenient to walk to my friend's place. I usually don't leave my residence that much and it's nice to have a friend close by. Recently, we've been doing many dumb things, like playing indoor football or other community-disliked activities. The stupid community can think what they want; I'll do my stupid things as much as possible.

*

Girls make you do so many things you never thought you would do. I suppose I learn this the older and older I get. I know that like a few years ago, I talked to all these girls, but we were so young so it wasn't as if I was hitting on them. Now, I swear, I only really talk to girls that I have some sort of attraction to. I guess that's really bad. In fact, that makes me sound shallow, but I do have friends that I don't plan on dating, but I'm still attracted to. So there.

I think it's funny that AIM has become the means of communication to most people. I swear, I contact everyone by this thing now. I even hold long in-depth conversations on it too. I guess that sounds pretty lame, but it's just so damn convenient.

*

It's been pretty uneventful. School's almost over. I had to make a test with friends and give it to some other group or something like that, so they could take it. I'm pretty sure I confused them with all the dumb questions I made. I think I have way too much fun when the teacher gives us the opportunity to be creative.

I pretty much aced that class. It had nothing on me. I hope later classes continue to be this easy. This would significantly make me happier. And also much, much lazier.

*

I think it's weird that almost a whole year of this stuff has passed. I know that looking back at this year, a lot of things have happened, but maybe in the years to come, it'll really be nothing. I sometimes wonder what next year will be like, but then I think "geez, Sophomore year, how uneventful can that be?"

I'm listening to Biz Markie - Just a Friend
I'm feeling like a storyteller
I'm constantly saying witches

three years, eh?

It's weird to think that three years ago today at about 12:48 AM, I had my first real kiss. Damn that was a long time ago.

It's also John Cloud's 20th birthday today. He used to be the only person that visited the site. I used to talk about him a lot on here. He moved. I made a lot of new friends. We slowly stopped talking. He married.

Maybe we'll talk again sometime. I'd like to see him around; I really miss that kid.

I'm so confused right now. I really don't know what to think. It's one of those cases where you think something is happening, but then something comes in the way. Or it comes in the way repeatedly, such as the case of when Chris and I fought over Robin. This isn't like that though, obviously. I'm not fighting over some girl... I'm pretty sure I learned my lesson back in high school.

I'm actually, for the first time, probably disappointed in myself for not taking action. I've been so passive, and it's kinda lame.

But anyway, school ended on yesterday. I pretty much have the opportunity to sleep in today and do absolutely nothing, but I think I'm going to take care of a bunch of random summer school and transfer credit things. I have this feeling that I'm going to forget to do a bunch of stuff and that's going to screw things up. Other than finals, I have four things I have to do. I really, really hope that I get those four things done. If I don't, I'm going to draw a goatee on my roommate.

I still haven't told my father about the potential road trip. If I can pass this by him, this won't be a potential road trip; it will be reality. I honestly think that he'll like the idea, but he's just going to worry about where I'm going to stay and random things like that. And also the fact that I'm going to be all the way across the country and he probably doesn't want me to get in trouble.

Oh well, I bet things will work out for the best.

Walks hits per inning pitched.

WHIP.

I'm listening to Gin Blossoms - Hey Jealousy
I'm feeling contemplative
I'm constantly saying gruder

we are the energy.

We are the same as you.

Every now and then I think about you; it's getting closer to closure.

Yesterday night, I sent my roommate all of these messages. He wasn't away. He wasn't idle. He didn't respond to a single message.

reveille7A (1:16:01 AM): water balloons.
reveille7A (1:16:06 AM): i just farted too.
reveille7A (1:16:14 AM): You are playing Gunbound.
reveille7A (1:22:42 AM): hey fatass.
reveille7A (1:22:45 AM): stop playing hat game.
reveille7A (1:22:49 AM): and let's go have some fun.
reveille7A (1:22:51 AM): retard.
reveille7A (1:23:04 AM): i'm going to shut a door on you.
reveille7A (1:23:17 AM): i have a latex glove hanging from my wall.
reveille7A (1:23:20 AM): who am i?
reveille7A (1:23:35 AM): i also have dumb red hair with highlights.
reveille7A (1:23:40 AM): i play gunbound all day.
reveille7A (1:23:50 AM): now that i've given more clues, who am i?
reveille7A (1:24:11 AM): i will keep messaging you and staring at you until you realize that i'm sending you messages.
reveille7A (1:24:28 AM): andy looks like sun tzu.
reveille7A (1:24:35 AM): what movie is that on tv?
reveille7A (1:24:43 AM): it looks like some mob movie.
reveille7A (1:25:09 AM): my arms hurt.
reveille7A (1:25:21 AM): stop playing that freakin' game.
reveille7A (1:25:25 AM): i'm going to tell jessie.
reveille7A (1:25:32 AM): i am sorta hungry too.
reveille7A (1:25:37 AM): but you have to get off that damn game.
reveille7A (1:25:39 AM): now.
reveille7A (1:25:41 AM): little punk.
reveille7A (1:25:52 AM): you are talking to me and not realizing that i'm sending you IMs.
reveille7A (1:25:55 AM): you just told me about your chicken.
reveille7A (1:25:59 AM): you are a chicken.
reveille7A (1:26:13 AM): you're going to poop out that half chicken soon.
reveille7A (1:26:19 AM): stop cussing.
reveille7A (1:26:22 AM): that hurts my virgin ears.
reveille7A (1:26:53 AM): i have writer's block.
reveille7A (1:27:30 AM): i'm probably going to thorw my flight at you if you don't get off that game soon.
reveille7A (1:27:42 AM): either that or i'm going to throw a water balloon at you.
reveille7A (1:27:48 AM): or i should just do that when you're pooping.
reveille7A (1:27:50 AM): poopface.
reveille7A (1:27:55 AM): andy just looked at my computer.
reveille7A (1:28:02 AM): i don't think he knows that i'm IMing you.
reveille7A (1:28:13 AM): i have a coffin too.
reveille7A (1:28:18 AM): you have a weird nose in real life.
reveille7A (1:28:21 AM): and a weird face.
reveille7A (1:28:41 AM): alright enough of this.
reveille7A (1:28:49 AM): nevermind, i'm bored.
reveille7A (1:28:52 AM): and waiting for this CD to end.
reveille7A (1:29:01 AM): in which case, i'm going to tell you to check your IMs.
reveille7A (1:29:09 AM): there's pepsi in our room.
reveille7A (1:29:37 AM): andy is changing the volume on the tv.
reveille7A (1:29:46 AM): he put the volume lower.
reveille7A (1:29:48 AM): i wonder why.
reveille7A (1:30:06 AM): he is actually just turning the volume up and down for no reason.
reveille7A (1:30:11 AM): he's almost as dumb as you.
reveille7A (1:30:15 AM): even though that's pretty dumb.
reveille7A (1:30:16 AM): punk.
reveille7A (1:30:20 AM): i can hear the tv now.
reveille7A (1:30:24 AM): he turned it up pretty loud.
reveille7A (1:30:43 AM): i wonder if the sky will fall tonight.
reveille7A (1:31:08 AM): badgerbadgerbadgerbadgerbadgerbadgerbadger mushroommushroom!
reveille7A (1:31:40 AM): i do not want to be a stockbroker.
reveille7A (1:31:47 AM): i just told you that.
reveille7A (1:32:13 AM): i am good with numbers, so stockbroking would be a thing i should do.
reveille7A (1:32:18 AM): that's interesting logic.
reveille7A (1:32:31 AM): i don't like playing around with money though.
reveille7A (1:32:34 AM): i just like playing with atoms.
reveille7A (1:32:39 AM): and words and numbers.
reveille7A (1:32:45 AM): i also like typing for no reason.
reveille7A (1:32:51 AM): i should make this into a text document.
reveille7A (1:33:34 AM): you look like a boligrafo.
reveille7A (1:33:40 AM): andy looks like a lapiz.
reveille7A (1:33:53 AM): i, on the other hand, am too cool to be a writing utensil.
reveille7A (1:33:58 AM): i'm chocolate.
reveille7A (1:34:05 AM): i'm brown and sweet.
reveille7A (1:34:07 AM): word to that.
reveille7A (1:34:15 AM): i have been doing this for quite a long time now.
reveille7A (1:34:19 AM): this song is almost over.
reveille7A (1:34:26 AM): in which case, i'm going to tell you to check your IMs.
reveille7A (1:34:34 AM): and you're going to not read them and just call me an idiot.
reveille7A (1:34:37 AM): which, i guess, i am.
reveille7A (1:34:43 AM): even though i find this quite amusing.
reveille7A (1:35:06 AM): i'm probably not going to sleep until like four or something.
reveille7A (1:35:12 AM): i have a horrible sleeping schedule.
reveille7A (1:35:33 AM): i'm going to spill coffee on your lab coat.
reveille7A (1:35:33 AM): now.
reveille7A (1:35:36 AM): watch.
reveille7A (1:35:53 AM): this world is going to spin two times faster because i am going to drop coffee on your coat.
reveille7A (1:35:59 AM): it will anticipate coffee-dropping.
reveille7A (1:36:23 AM): quartdam.

Now, say you were in my roommate's position. Would you respond?

I'm listening to Audiovent - The Energy
I'm feeling adventurous
I'm constantly saying quartdam